10 minute cooking school meets 50 minute movie deadline

When I was in the 4th grade, I got my first set of glasses. When I left the doctor's office I was astonished to see individual leaves on trees and little bumps in the sidewalk. I didn't really think about how the world was supposed to look. Last night I had another eye opening experience, thanks to youtube, Troublemaker Studios, and Robert Rodriguez's "10 Minute Cooking School."

With a movie showtime hanging over my head, I and a friend tried to squeeze this meal's square peg into a 1 hour 10 minute "prep + cook + enjoy" round hole (later we discovered it was more like an oblique spheroid, so it nearly fit).

You will never buy store bought tortillas again. I promise you.

Robert Rodriguez's Homemade Tortillas

2 cups flour
1/4 cup fat (either butter or lard, in his video he uses 1/8 cup of each)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup warm water

Combine the flour, salt, baking powder, and butter (this is what I used) in a mixing bowl. Mix.
The powder will get a little clumpy, but not terribly so. After the ingredients are mixed, slowly start adding the water until it gets doughy. Fool around with this, as I still haven't gotten it quite down.

When the dough looks like it's going to hold a shape, start pulling small handfuls out to roll into golf ball sized bits. Roll them up and set them down for a few. This made about 1 dozen little balls for me. If they aren't sticking together well enough, get your hands wet while rolling them.

Now it's time to start on your filling as these sit.

Mrs. Renfro's Salsa meets Mr. K's chicken

1 jar Mrs. Renfro's jalapeno salsa (green)
1 lb chicken
freshly ground black pepper
chili flakes
1 cup rice

You can get the same effect but making your own salsa (or just adding some diced tomatoes, and spices to the rice - but I was short on time). Cut up your chicken into bite sized pieces, pepper them, add a little salt, and toss them all in a pot with your cup of rice and about 2 cups of water. Turn to high heat. You folks know what's going to happen here. When the water boils, add anywhere from 6-8 oz. of the salsa to the rice + chicken mixture. Cover, reduce heat to low, and set a timer for 20 minutes. Now let's get those tortillas goin'.

Your flour balls have sat long enough, time to roll those suckers out. Get a clean flat surface, some flour, and a rolling pin (don't have a rolling pin? Neither do I. Wash off a beer bottle and cover the outside with flour - it works just as well). Get a griddle or large skillet heated up (med-high heat).

Squish the flour balls into discs and lightly dust both sides with flour. Also, make sure you throw a little flour down on your surface - you don't want them sticking. Roll them out into flat tortilla shapes and set aside. If your griddle is ready, grease it up with some butter and toss them on. You want them to get brown on both sides, RR says "watch them bubble up, that means your baking powder is working. Flatten them out and flip. When they're done toss them in a tortilla holder and cover them up."

I just used paper towel and a 9 x9 cake pan; worked fine.

Your tortillas should be done, your chicken and rice should be finished, all you need now is to throw a little cheese or sour cream on there and you have yourself a quick, decent meal. It was pretty fantastic. We even made it to the movie on time.

What's really great about the tortillas is that they are surprisingly easy to make and they taste noticeably better than their store-bought counterparts (mostly the texture, they aren't rubbery at all). I can't wait to try homemade hardshell tacos with these guys.

This was my breakfast

We were walking through Meijer last night and saw the most interesting thing in the produce section. It was a brightly colored fruit with little spines poking out of it. I picked one up to examine it and thought "This looks more like a dog toy than a piece of fruit." Of course, I had to buy it.

I didn't know what it was at the register, and so I u-scanned it as if it were an ugli fruit, even though it clearly wasn't. I came in to work this morning, cut it open, and this is what I found.


It's tart like a kiwi, messy like a tomato, and apparently only contains 25 calories. A co-worker did some research while I was in the kitchen making a mess and found out that it was called a "horned melon", that it comes from Africa, and that there are all sorts of ways one can use it.

I scrubbed it out so my co-workers could get a good look at it. The inside of the rind is similar to a pumpkin after the fruit has been scrubbed away. When I get the opportunity, I'll totally get some more in order to try some of the recipes that my "horned melon" google search turned up. One involving beef. Sweet, right?

Shrimp & Asparagus Pasta Toss

We found this recipe after an incident in which I burnt the top layer of my tounge off because I'd been eating too much spicy food. Having been told to "tone it down a bit" by my doctor, we faced the challenge of making something tasty, soft and flavorful without depending on spiciness. Granted, this will probably only make seafood lovers happy, but it IS a tasty sauce even without the seafood.

6 oz uncooked angel hair pasta
2 tbsp. butter
2 tbsp. flour
1 tsp. chicken flavor instant bullion
1 1/2 c. milk
2 oz (1/2 c.) shredded Swiss cheese
1/4 c. grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 lb. fresh or frozen uncooked shrimp, deveined
1/2 lb- 1 lb fresh uncooked sea scallops
1 bunch of fresh asparagus, cooked, drained and cut into 1 inch pieces
2 oz. (1 c.) sliced fresh mushrooms

Cook pasta to desired doneness as directed on package. Drain, rinse with hot water and keep warm.

Melt butter in medium saucepan. Blend in flour and bouillon; cook until it's smooth and bubbly. Gradually add milk; cook until mixture boils and thickens, stirring constantly. Add cheeses; stir until smooth. Stir in shrimp, scallops and mushrooms; cook until thoroughly done. Add cooked asparagus. Serve over pasta.

Potato Salad checks out of the Mayo Clinic

I blame this recipe for my general dislike of most potato salads. It seems that a lot of people think of potato salad means of getting mayonnaise to your stomach (hmmm... someone tell Rodger!). Now, to me, mayo has it's place, on a burger (only a bit) and a turkey sandwich, and in tuna salad. However, it doesn't belong anywhere near potato salad!

My folks don't like gloopy potato salad either, so my mom came up with this recipe years ago. What sets this potato salad apart is its distinct lack of mayo. Instead, the salad is dressed with oil and vinegar to keep it nice and light, while giving it a tasty zing without the goopy nastiness! So, here's how it's done...

What you need:
4-5 Yukon Gold Potatoes
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup white vinegar
1 tsp. sugar
1 onion, julienned (or diced, your choice)
salt and pepper to taste

What to do:
- Boil the potatoes for ~15 minutes with the skin.
- Make the dressing by combining the remaining ingredients.
-Peel and slice the potatoes into ~1/4 inch slices
-Toss it all together and serve!

Yes, you can make this with Idaho potatoes, but they tend to fall apart really easily, so a more waxy potato like the Yukon Golds are HIGHLY recommended. Keeping the potatoes roughly the same size means they will all cook through at about the same time making life easier. Take care not to overcook them, otherwise they will turn to mush later when you mix everything.
We've found the julienned onions tend to stand out little more and don't get quite so lost in the salad, giving it more crunch. Also, this can be served warm or cool depending on your preference. I think it's best when it's just made and still a little warm. Enjoy!

Spicy Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo

Sasha and I initially got interested in making an Alfredo sauce when some pepper steak we did nearly killed us (ok, when some pepper steak I did nearly killed us). The steak had a rub that was way out of control and we needed a way to cut down the spicy. When we discovered how easy Alfredo sauce was to make, we gave it a shot. It worked great, but leftovers without that pepper steak were disappointing. Here's the second attempt:

Spicy Chicken (I've determined to stop mislabeling things "Cajun" just because they have cayenne, maybe I'll just go with Ragin?)

Chicken breast, boned and skinned (figure 1/2 breast to each serving and do the math yourself)
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp white pepper
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp thyme

I usually eyeball my spice distribution, and as it can plainly be seen I prefer more pepper/garlic to less - adjust according to your own preferences but generally a 1:1 ratio is good, maybe 2:1 ; pepper: everything else. I'm also of the opinion that there is no such thing as too much garlic.

Alfredo Sauce

1 stick butter
1 cup heavy whipping cream or half & half
1 cup grated Asiago cheese (I prefer this to parmesan, but it's slightly saltier, remember that when doing your seasoning)

When pacing your meal, I'd start the water boiling when you start the chicken and then start the sauce halfway. Make sure your cheese is grated before you start because it takes longer than you'd think to grate a cup of cheese (if you're using a cowbell grater, and why wouldn't you?).

Get your skillet out and cut the chicken into bite sized pieces. Heat your pan for about a minute (med-high heat) and then drop enough olive oil in the pan to coat it and add your chicken along with all the pepper, oregano, and thyme. I usually add a few pinches of kosher salt, too. You want the chicken to have color from the spices by don't get too ridiculous. When the chicken is cooked almost through on once side you can flip it.

Small saucepot, med-low heat meet stick of butter. When the butter is completely melted slowly add the cream and mix it well each time. Check your chicken and noodles. The chicken will probably be done and the noodles still need a few minutes. Turn the chicken to a low heat if it's done (just to keep it warm) and add your cheese.

If you want your sauce to be a little thicker, you can turn the heat up on the pot. It'll bubble and spit (so make sure it's covered) and keep stirring it occasionally so that it doesn't burn. Don't give it longer than a minute or two.

Your noodles should be done at this point, so drain them and prepare them for serving. If your chicken is done put it on your noodles. Douse all plates with the sauce and enjoy!

Serve this with bread, as the sauce is going to outlast the noodles and chicken. I would recommend a white wine for this (although it'd also be good with a spicy red like a Sangiovese).