10 minute cooking school meets 50 minute movie deadline

When I was in the 4th grade, I got my first set of glasses. When I left the doctor's office I was astonished to see individual leaves on trees and little bumps in the sidewalk. I didn't really think about how the world was supposed to look. Last night I had another eye opening experience, thanks to youtube, Troublemaker Studios, and Robert Rodriguez's "10 Minute Cooking School."

With a movie showtime hanging over my head, I and a friend tried to squeeze this meal's square peg into a 1 hour 10 minute "prep + cook + enjoy" round hole (later we discovered it was more like an oblique spheroid, so it nearly fit).

You will never buy store bought tortillas again. I promise you.

Robert Rodriguez's Homemade Tortillas

2 cups flour
1/4 cup fat (either butter or lard, in his video he uses 1/8 cup of each)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup warm water

Combine the flour, salt, baking powder, and butter (this is what I used) in a mixing bowl. Mix.
The powder will get a little clumpy, but not terribly so. After the ingredients are mixed, slowly start adding the water until it gets doughy. Fool around with this, as I still haven't gotten it quite down.

When the dough looks like it's going to hold a shape, start pulling small handfuls out to roll into golf ball sized bits. Roll them up and set them down for a few. This made about 1 dozen little balls for me. If they aren't sticking together well enough, get your hands wet while rolling them.

Now it's time to start on your filling as these sit.

Mrs. Renfro's Salsa meets Mr. K's chicken

1 jar Mrs. Renfro's jalapeno salsa (green)
1 lb chicken
freshly ground black pepper
chili flakes
1 cup rice

You can get the same effect but making your own salsa (or just adding some diced tomatoes, and spices to the rice - but I was short on time). Cut up your chicken into bite sized pieces, pepper them, add a little salt, and toss them all in a pot with your cup of rice and about 2 cups of water. Turn to high heat. You folks know what's going to happen here. When the water boils, add anywhere from 6-8 oz. of the salsa to the rice + chicken mixture. Cover, reduce heat to low, and set a timer for 20 minutes. Now let's get those tortillas goin'.

Your flour balls have sat long enough, time to roll those suckers out. Get a clean flat surface, some flour, and a rolling pin (don't have a rolling pin? Neither do I. Wash off a beer bottle and cover the outside with flour - it works just as well). Get a griddle or large skillet heated up (med-high heat).

Squish the flour balls into discs and lightly dust both sides with flour. Also, make sure you throw a little flour down on your surface - you don't want them sticking. Roll them out into flat tortilla shapes and set aside. If your griddle is ready, grease it up with some butter and toss them on. You want them to get brown on both sides, RR says "watch them bubble up, that means your baking powder is working. Flatten them out and flip. When they're done toss them in a tortilla holder and cover them up."

I just used paper towel and a 9 x9 cake pan; worked fine.

Your tortillas should be done, your chicken and rice should be finished, all you need now is to throw a little cheese or sour cream on there and you have yourself a quick, decent meal. It was pretty fantastic. We even made it to the movie on time.

What's really great about the tortillas is that they are surprisingly easy to make and they taste noticeably better than their store-bought counterparts (mostly the texture, they aren't rubbery at all). I can't wait to try homemade hardshell tacos with these guys.

This was my breakfast

We were walking through Meijer last night and saw the most interesting thing in the produce section. It was a brightly colored fruit with little spines poking out of it. I picked one up to examine it and thought "This looks more like a dog toy than a piece of fruit." Of course, I had to buy it.

I didn't know what it was at the register, and so I u-scanned it as if it were an ugli fruit, even though it clearly wasn't. I came in to work this morning, cut it open, and this is what I found.


It's tart like a kiwi, messy like a tomato, and apparently only contains 25 calories. A co-worker did some research while I was in the kitchen making a mess and found out that it was called a "horned melon", that it comes from Africa, and that there are all sorts of ways one can use it.

I scrubbed it out so my co-workers could get a good look at it. The inside of the rind is similar to a pumpkin after the fruit has been scrubbed away. When I get the opportunity, I'll totally get some more in order to try some of the recipes that my "horned melon" google search turned up. One involving beef. Sweet, right?

Shrimp & Asparagus Pasta Toss

We found this recipe after an incident in which I burnt the top layer of my tounge off because I'd been eating too much spicy food. Having been told to "tone it down a bit" by my doctor, we faced the challenge of making something tasty, soft and flavorful without depending on spiciness. Granted, this will probably only make seafood lovers happy, but it IS a tasty sauce even without the seafood.

6 oz uncooked angel hair pasta
2 tbsp. butter
2 tbsp. flour
1 tsp. chicken flavor instant bullion
1 1/2 c. milk
2 oz (1/2 c.) shredded Swiss cheese
1/4 c. grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 lb. fresh or frozen uncooked shrimp, deveined
1/2 lb- 1 lb fresh uncooked sea scallops
1 bunch of fresh asparagus, cooked, drained and cut into 1 inch pieces
2 oz. (1 c.) sliced fresh mushrooms

Cook pasta to desired doneness as directed on package. Drain, rinse with hot water and keep warm.

Melt butter in medium saucepan. Blend in flour and bouillon; cook until it's smooth and bubbly. Gradually add milk; cook until mixture boils and thickens, stirring constantly. Add cheeses; stir until smooth. Stir in shrimp, scallops and mushrooms; cook until thoroughly done. Add cooked asparagus. Serve over pasta.

Potato Salad checks out of the Mayo Clinic

I blame this recipe for my general dislike of most potato salads. It seems that a lot of people think of potato salad means of getting mayonnaise to your stomach (hmmm... someone tell Rodger!). Now, to me, mayo has it's place, on a burger (only a bit) and a turkey sandwich, and in tuna salad. However, it doesn't belong anywhere near potato salad!

My folks don't like gloopy potato salad either, so my mom came up with this recipe years ago. What sets this potato salad apart is its distinct lack of mayo. Instead, the salad is dressed with oil and vinegar to keep it nice and light, while giving it a tasty zing without the goopy nastiness! So, here's how it's done...

What you need:
4-5 Yukon Gold Potatoes
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup white vinegar
1 tsp. sugar
1 onion, julienned (or diced, your choice)
salt and pepper to taste

What to do:
- Boil the potatoes for ~15 minutes with the skin.
- Make the dressing by combining the remaining ingredients.
-Peel and slice the potatoes into ~1/4 inch slices
-Toss it all together and serve!

Yes, you can make this with Idaho potatoes, but they tend to fall apart really easily, so a more waxy potato like the Yukon Golds are HIGHLY recommended. Keeping the potatoes roughly the same size means they will all cook through at about the same time making life easier. Take care not to overcook them, otherwise they will turn to mush later when you mix everything.
We've found the julienned onions tend to stand out little more and don't get quite so lost in the salad, giving it more crunch. Also, this can be served warm or cool depending on your preference. I think it's best when it's just made and still a little warm. Enjoy!

Spicy Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo

Sasha and I initially got interested in making an Alfredo sauce when some pepper steak we did nearly killed us (ok, when some pepper steak I did nearly killed us). The steak had a rub that was way out of control and we needed a way to cut down the spicy. When we discovered how easy Alfredo sauce was to make, we gave it a shot. It worked great, but leftovers without that pepper steak were disappointing. Here's the second attempt:

Spicy Chicken (I've determined to stop mislabeling things "Cajun" just because they have cayenne, maybe I'll just go with Ragin?)

Chicken breast, boned and skinned (figure 1/2 breast to each serving and do the math yourself)
1 tsp cayenne
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp white pepper
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp thyme

I usually eyeball my spice distribution, and as it can plainly be seen I prefer more pepper/garlic to less - adjust according to your own preferences but generally a 1:1 ratio is good, maybe 2:1 ; pepper: everything else. I'm also of the opinion that there is no such thing as too much garlic.

Alfredo Sauce

1 stick butter
1 cup heavy whipping cream or half & half
1 cup grated Asiago cheese (I prefer this to parmesan, but it's slightly saltier, remember that when doing your seasoning)

When pacing your meal, I'd start the water boiling when you start the chicken and then start the sauce halfway. Make sure your cheese is grated before you start because it takes longer than you'd think to grate a cup of cheese (if you're using a cowbell grater, and why wouldn't you?).

Get your skillet out and cut the chicken into bite sized pieces. Heat your pan for about a minute (med-high heat) and then drop enough olive oil in the pan to coat it and add your chicken along with all the pepper, oregano, and thyme. I usually add a few pinches of kosher salt, too. You want the chicken to have color from the spices by don't get too ridiculous. When the chicken is cooked almost through on once side you can flip it.

Small saucepot, med-low heat meet stick of butter. When the butter is completely melted slowly add the cream and mix it well each time. Check your chicken and noodles. The chicken will probably be done and the noodles still need a few minutes. Turn the chicken to a low heat if it's done (just to keep it warm) and add your cheese.

If you want your sauce to be a little thicker, you can turn the heat up on the pot. It'll bubble and spit (so make sure it's covered) and keep stirring it occasionally so that it doesn't burn. Don't give it longer than a minute or two.

Your noodles should be done at this point, so drain them and prepare them for serving. If your chicken is done put it on your noodles. Douse all plates with the sauce and enjoy!

Serve this with bread, as the sauce is going to outlast the noodles and chicken. I would recommend a white wine for this (although it'd also be good with a spicy red like a Sangiovese).

Asparagus with Cream Sauce

2 pounds fresh asparagus spears
1 Tbsp butter
1 1/2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
1/2 cup chicken broth
1/2 cup half and half
2 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp pepper

Snap off tough ends of asparagus. Cook asparagus, covered, in a small amount of boiling water for 6 to 8 minutes or until crisp-tender. Keep warm.

Melt butter in a small saucepan over low heat; add flour, stirring until smooth.

Gradually whisk in chicken broth and half and half. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened and bubbly, about 1 minute. Whisk in mustard, lemon juice, and pepper. Spoon sauce over asparagus. Serve immediately.

When we made this, I added extra dijon mustard to give it a little more flavor (more like 3 Tbsp). I also feel this recipe needs something a little more, but can't quite put my finger on it. If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

Kickin' Jambalaya

This is a recipe I've been adjusting for about a year and a half. It rose out of a desire to cook spicy foods and take my time doing it. I'm quite confident when making this recipe and enjoy sharing it with others (it makes a lot of food) as an introduction to the kind of foods I make. I apologize in advance for linking to Wikipedia for some of these definitions, it just seemed easier (the historian in me protests, but the lazy slob in me wins).

1 lb spicy sausage (andouille is perfect but hard to find sometimes, I usually go with a 'hot italian brat' or the good old Bob Evans 'spicy italian sausage' in a tube)
1 lb chicken, cubed
1 lb shrimp peeled and de-veined
"cajun seasoning" (2 tsp Cayenne, 1 tsp Black Pepper, 1 tsp White Pepper, 1 tsp Oregano, 1 tsp Thyme)
2 cup rice
8 oz can tomato paste
8 oz can chicken stock
14 oz can diced tomatoes (I like the getting the kind with the jalapenos inside for this, but do as you will)
Trinity
-1/2 cup celery, chopped
-1 red or yellow bell pepper, chopped
-1 yellow onion, chopped
2 Tbsp garlic
1 Tbsp chili flakes or red pepper flakes

Start by browning your sausage in a 10 inch skillet (med high heat). Let the grease collect in the pan and when you're satisfied that the sausage is mostly done, transfer it to a 12 inch 'meat' skillet on low heat (you're going to keep the sausage and chicken warm here while you saute the trinity).

After you've transferred your sausage, add the chicken to the greasy pan. Salt to taste, and add your chili flakes. When the chicken is white and cooked through transfer to the large skillet holding the sausage. Now you're ready for the veggies.

Still using our first skillet, we're going to add the garlic and maybe some olive oil if there isn't enough grease left over from our first two steps. When the garlic is looking a little brown it's time to add the onions, bell pepper, and celery. Wait until the onions are clear and the celery is soft before adding the tomato paste. Now you're going to let it brown in the skillet for awhile, and you should get out a large sauce pot (at least 4 quarts, 6 might be better).

Heat the tomatoes and chicken stock in the sauce pot with the rice until it boils. Now...you ready? Add everything to the sauce pot: meat, veggies, spices, and shrimp. Cover that sucker up and let it simmer on a low heat for about 20 minutes (or until the rice is done). If you're worried about over cooking the shrimp you can wait until the rice is 1/2 way done to add them, but I've never had a problem with it.

When this comes off the stove it's going to be hot and practically overflowing out of your sauce pot (that's why 6 quart may be better than 4). I've served this with beer but I prefer a Pinot Grigio or Chardonnay. Hope you enjoy.

Guacamole

Not being that big a fan of guacamole in general, I was a little skeptical about making it. This recipe is pretty great though and managed to convert me into a fan.

Guacamole
4 ripe avocados, peeled, seeded
1 tsp ground cumin
1 ripe, medium Roma tomato, seeded, diced
1/2 cup minced sweet white onion
2 serrano chilies, seeded, minced
1/4 cup chopped cilantro leaves
4 Tbsp fresh lime juice
Hot pepper sauce, sea salt, white pepper to taste

Cut avocado in large chunks and mash coarsely in large bowl with a fork. Add remaining ingredients and blend gently-leaving some small chunks is fine. Taste and adjust seasoning with more pepper sauce, salt and pepper if desired.

Arrabiata Sauce (The Angry Sauce)

1 teaspoon olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
4 cloves garlic, minced
3/8 cup red wine
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 (14.5 ounce) cans peeled and diced tomatoes
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
Italian sausage (optional)
Sliced mushrooms

DIRECTIONS
Heat oil in a large skillet or saucepan over medium heat. Saute onion and garlic in oil for 5 minutes.

Stir in wine, sugar, basil, red pepper, tomato paste, lemon juice, Italian seasoning, black pepper, tomatoes, sausage, mushrooms and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium, and simmer uncovered about 15 minutes.

Stir in parsley. Ladle over the hot cooked pasta of your choice.

This is truly fast food and tastes just as good as leftovers as it does when first made. When we've made it, we usually get the diced tomatoes with peppers added for that extra kick, but for those that want it a little less spicy, get the regular tomatoes. Also an excellent meal for clearing the sinuses if you're sick:)

Coconut Curry Chicken

Coconut Curry Chicken

4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 1/2 onions, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 tablespoon chopped roasted garlic
7 ounces canned coconut milk
salt and pepper to taste
1 pinch crushed red pepper flakes

*Note: we added 6 redskin potatoes (cut into 1/8ths), about a Tbsp of curry, used 13.5 oz of coconut milk, substituted minced garlic for roasted, and upped our crushed red pepper flakes to two dashes.

Directions:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). In a large skillet, fry chicken breast in vegetable oil until the chicken just begins to brown. Stir onions, green bell peppers and red bell peppers into the skillet with the chicken.

*Note: we put our potatoes into the oven early with about 6 oz of the coconut milk, a healthy dose of olive oil, and some salt & pepper to get them started.

Saute until the onions are translucent. When the vegetables are translucent, stir in the garlic and coconut milk. Let the mixture cook 5 to 8 minutes before removing the skillet from the heat. Season with salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes (and 1 Tbsp of curry). Transfer the mixture to a 9x13 inch baking dish and bake in a 425 degrees F (220 degrees C) oven for 45 minutes, or until the vegetables cook down and the chicken is tender.
I thought this went really well. We served it over Saffron Rice (a store-bought package we got from Meijer). I think in the future I'd add more curry, and maybe some spices that compliment curry (I was thinking cumin, but sasha suggested tumeric). We didn't have it in the oven for 45 minutes either, it was closer to 30.

Mexican Rice

This goes really well with tostadas or enchiladas but it also is quite tasty just on its own. Make sure to use decent rice (Meijer's own doesn't work well with this) and the tomato sauce IS essential.

Olive oil
1 cup uncooked rice your choice
1/2 onion
2 cloves garlic, minced or crushed
2 cups cold water
Coarsely chopped small roma tomato, chopped into about 4 pieces
Hot pepper of your choice, sliced lengthwise
Tomato sauce (I'd say a little less that 1/4 cup)
1 Tbsp chicken bouillon
1 tsp ground cumin
Salt, to taste

Put a little olive oil (Tbsp or so) into a medium-sized pan and heat to a medium temperature, add the rice, uncooked, and brown in the oil. Make sure all the rice is lightly coated with the oil. You do not have to stir the rice around very much at first, while browning, but as the rice becomes browner you want to be stirring it around to make sure it all browns evenly and doesn't burn. It will turn brown, but it's not burning unless it's turning dark/black. Towards the end of the browning, add the garlic so that it is sort of sauteed/browned.

Next, dump the water on the rice (it will steam up loudly) and add the remaining ingredients. Stir well and cover (with a small air escape). Reduce heat to medium-low to medium, and let cook for 20-30 minutes. (Cooking time and temperature varies with your stove. Check after 20 minutes to make sure you don't burn.)The essential rule of this recipe is "Do Not Peek" while the rice is cooking. When it is ready, all the water will be absorbed, the rice will fluff, and each grain will be "split open" because of the browning. It should be dry, not saucy. You can adjust the spices/peppers to your taste. The recipe can be changed by keeping with the 1 cup rice/2 cups water ratio, and adjusting remaining ingredients.

First entry: black & bleu burgers w/ mango chutney

I know a few folks who've threatened to start a food blog for awhile. Today is the day I provide momentum for the great amateur cooks I know and say "here is your forum."

Never content to sit idly by, I will kick off this guy by providing a few recipes from over the weekend. One was quite good, the other needs work:

Black and Bleu Burgers (needs work)

Freshly ground pepper
kosher salt
Gorgonzola cheese
Hamburger Meat

This is real simple, you wrap the hamburger around a serving of the cheese and add salt and pepper to the outside. I like to put a ring of pepper around the outside of the burger, too.

The problem with this recipe is that the cheese bleeds out before the burger is done. The burgers are moist, but you barely taste the cheese. Of course, you could add the cheese to the top of the burger, but that's a lot like giving up.

Mango Chutney (the good) - originally from Good Eats

4 lbs mangoes (ripe but not too soft)
1 large red onion
1 bell pepper
1/4 cup ginger root, peeled & minced
Vegetable oil
8 oz unsweetened pineapple juice (we've found this is hard to find, so we usually get crushed
pineapple chunks and use the juice and a few pieces of pineapple to make up the difference)
1 tsp chili flakes
1 1/2 Tbsp curry powder
4 oz cider vinegar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup roasted, unsalted macadamia nuts
1/2 cup golden raisins
kosher salt and fresh ground white pepper

Peel and pit the mangoes, it's a pain. The mango pit is a very hard obelisk in the center of the mango, you'll cut around that and discard. The pieces should be small bit sized chunks, you want this to look like relish at the end. Cut up your onions, peppers, and ginger root.

In a bowl combine the sugar, vinegar, pineapple juice, and curry.

Heat up the oil (about 3 Tbsp, but you can eyeball it) and add the chili flakes. Let those go for about a minute on a medium to low heat and then add the onions. After the onions have been coated and softened, you can add the ginger and bell pepper. Saute for 1 to 2 minutes and then add the mangoes.

After another minute or two add the mixture from the bowl and simmer for about 30 minutes until the sauce has reduced (stirring often). Add salt and pepper to taste (I usually go heavy on the pepper). Add the raisins and chopped nuts to the chutney and transfer to an ice bath. Serve cold as a side dish or use as a topping for burgers.